Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

And the sadness?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

Why is it that when the Democrats absolutely love everyone to be LGBTP, they don't even acknowledge that Barack Obama and his husband Big Mike are homosexual, and he is the first homosexual president of the USA?

I had run out of hope.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Why do I get spun and then want big fat cocks to suck?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What is the gayest experience you have seen in prison?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The sadness was still there.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why do White people love dogs more than humans?

You are like me, then.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

Why are Boomers so vehemently opposed to student loan forgiveness?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Why do atheists want to see God so badly?

Be who you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What is your review of X-Men '97 season 1?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.